Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Help! Offensive Neighbors!!!

I don't know why, but ever since I moved out of my biological family to live with my hubby and our daughter, I always get offensive neighbors.

Offensive neighbor #1 started out with just blurting unncecessary things about how our gas stove with LPG is staying in the living room (when we had nothing else to fill our house with at the time...) and how we watch tv as if it's the first time we had tv. And then one time, her helper of 3 years confided with our helper that she is not given enough salary and days off. Our helper, thinking that she would be helping the neighbor's helper (what a mouthful!), suggested that she move out and become a helper of Drew's parents instead. The neighbor's helper said she wouldn't be allowed to move out that easily and decided to stow away. To cut the long story short, she was caught. She placed all the blame on our helper and we were reported to the apartment management. And we were not allowed to renew our contract after a year.

So we moved to a new apartment. Just when we thought that everything will be in good shape because neighbor occupying the 1st door are young parents as well, offensive neighbor #2 occupied the vacant unit next to us days after. She hasn't done any harm to us during the first few months. She's even from Drew's hometown. But then my psychological instincts tell me I shouldn't mess with her. Why? Because if you can remember my post about dealing with toddler tantrums, she was the one I mentioned about tolerating bad behavior on her grandkids and smack them big time when she's had it. I believe, I haven't mentioned this before, but once she actually destroyed a potty trainer she just bought in front of her 2 year old grand daughter because the latter was becoming stubborn. She also waged war against one neighbor who prevented her from hanging clothes to dry inside one of the vacant houses in the village. Now her grand daughter, who's almost 3, has become a bully herself. Her subject? My Ella of course. I have stayed silent for the longest time because she's a kid and I felt that it's up to her grandmother to discipline her. And besides, the age gap between her and Ella is not that much. The only "kamalditahan" I think I can remember was saying "It's ok Ella, Ate ____ doesn't know how to share.". Grandma bully wasn't even there! Fast forward to 3 days ago, I had to stop Ella from going outside the house because it's raining and Ate ___ also tried to stop her by holding her hands. She does things like this not because she's concerned of my daughter but because she just wants to ruin my daughter's fun EVERY SINGLE TIME! Ella cried, though I'm not sure if it was because she was hurt or because she can't go out. Grandma bully was blabbing her mouth again, reprimanding her grand kid for "touching" Ella in a VERY SARCASTIC TONE. Then I just carried Ella and went home, hearing Grandma bully say "E inaano ba ung anak nya?!" (What have we done to her kid?) to a neigbors helper.

I don't know how to react to such provocative remarks. I feel enraged but I can't seem to respond quickly. I linger with the thought of doing something until I get confused whether I should react or not. I will eventually not do anything 100% of the time. This bothers me because now I'm not sure if I only tell myself I shouldn't do anything because it's what will please God or because I'm a chicken. Drew said my attitude is the thing that makes more people want to bully me. I want to start doing what is best so that people would learn not to bully me, regardless of whether it's the moral thing to do or not.

Do you think I'm right with what I want to become? I just felt it's high time I become more assertive and not necessarily turn into a b*tch! Suggestions please!!!

Love lots


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