Thursday, February 11, 2010

On Stay At Home Partners

I have nothing against stay at home partners, but that still depends on the reasons. And for me, the only valid reasons will be the same reasons I have if I choose to be a stay-at home mom. The bullet points I consider when a family chooses to have one partner stay home are the ff:

-There is a child /children or a home-business that needs to be taken care of and the family believes that one partner will be the best at this job.
-Child/Children's grandparents and other relatives will not be able to look after the child on a 24/7 basis.
-Nannies don't seem to be enough when it comes to child/children's educational, physiological, psychological and behavioral well-being (which is almost always the case...).
-Salary of one partner can suffice ALL the needs of the family comfortably and with enough extra for savings.
-If bullet point number 4 does not apply then the family should have, at least, a small business for the stay at home partner.

Now I'm talking about families with equally capable other halves. Disabability and inefficient education of one partner is another story. In my family, bullets 1, 2 and 3 apply, but 4 and 5 don't. It's a good thing we were finally able to get a good nanny after the problems we had with the ones that came before her. But still, I believe that parents will always be the best caregivers for their children (unless proven otherwise...).

So yes, I do yearn to be a stay-at-home parent, or better yet, a work-at-home one. But if after a lot of talking throughs and considerations, we discover that Drew is the best partner to stay at home, then by all means!

I've had a share of being a stay-at-home parent for about 2 weeks when one of the nannies bailed on us and it's not all bed of roses. In fact it was equally, if not more exhausting than work! Cleaning the house, doing the laundry, cooking food plus meticulously making sure that children get proper development on all aspects of their being is definitely NOT easy.

I guess all I'm saying is that, the decision to have a stay-at-home partner is not something a family cannot randomly choose. Gender preference shouldn't even be a factor! ...Nor does laziness, lack of self confidence in finding jobs and convenience of financial assistance from relatives. In a country where everyone will most likely get livelihood from being an employee, deciding whether a partner should stay-at-home or work for a living can make or break a family's success.

Think about it.

your every woman,


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