I never realized the "terrible two" stage for toddlers was real until Ella turned 2! She's really being difficult now! She refuses to eat and drink vitamins! She'd rather have candy instead of real food! She'd remove all her clothes all the way to her nappy but isn't potty trained yet! If she decides to try a particular food which she eventually finds out that she doesn't like, she's going to spit it right there and then! She loves to threaten to spank if you disagree with what she wants! She cries uncontrollably too!
At this point, I really don't know how to handle her! I want to spank her but I don't know how to properly do it. I try to talk to her but there are things she can't understand yet, and sometimes there are also things that she refuses to hear out. I want to put her in a corner to think, but she doesn't get the idea.
Some books I've read say that after a scolding, there is no reason to withdraw affection because kids just snap back as if nothing happened. They say the love you show even though a child is being disciplined affects self esteem. And Ella makes it hard for me to decide whether to follow that principle or not because she always comes to hug me everytime I scold her. I'm not sure if it's the right way to do it because some of my elders say that clever kids think of it as your soft spot and tend to show more bad behavior towards you.
Both hubby and I are paranoid about how to properly raise our kid to become a better individual. We can always read, research and apply principles, but who's to say what Ella would become in the future. For now, I find comfort in the belief that not all parents actually research on how to bring up their children, like our parents, but the children somehow still grow up to be ok.
Is my Ella going to be ok? How did you go through your toddler's terrible two's?
your every woman,
you have a cute girl.
ReplyDeletefollow mother instincts. there are no principles to be followed in giving discipline to kids.
one thing i say BE FIRM!
when you say no,IT IS NO and no negotiations. When she cries let her cry. she will just stop crying. she will not be sick when she cries.
I told my kids....ok, cry. I am not afraid when you cry. they will just stop crying and come to me after crying. if i asked why did you cry, they didnt even know. that is what i did to my two kids. i seldom give them spank. when i say no watching tv, then they have to do other things like playing.
are there other family members in the house like grandpa, grandma, etc? because if you give discipline, then lolo and lola are there, it will not work because ella goes to them whenever she wants protection.and yes grandparents did.
discipline should be done by parents.
thanks! i've heard a lot of mothers have suggested being firm...my dilemma on that is when my daughter throws a tantrum fit and she doesn't get what she wants, she wants to cry while hugging me most of the time. i don't know if i should let myself loose and withdraw my hug or if i should give in to the hugging.
ReplyDeleteand no, we live on our own, but both the daddy and myself are working so we leave her to the nanny. according to the nanny, our daughter behaves well when they're alone together. i'm thinking that even if we get to bond as soon as we get home, could it be that it's not enough for Ella?