Why You Should Wait: Exclusive Dating

Ever since I became Christian, I gained a lot of wisdom that could have made things better for my life if I had them when I was younger. Still, I praise the Lord for giving me a wonderful life and family, though not the way I had dreamed it would be, but perfect nonetheless. 

Now that I’m a mother, I would like to pass this wisdom on to my daughters, creating entries that revolve around waiting patiently for God’s time on a practical perspective. For my first entry, let me tell you about why you should wait for the perfect time to exclusively date.

(photo taken from http://archcapeinn.com/blog)

First, let us talk about when is the perfect time to exclusively date? Or in the Filipino perspective, when should you have a boyfriend? By having a boyfriend I mean having plans of eventually getting married and having children. I am not going to say that you should finish College first before having a boyfriend because education is evolving and you don’t have to stick to formal education to be able to follow your dreams. To be more specific, I should say it would be sometime after you’re 25 and you can say to yourself that you and the person courting you have already fulfilled your dreams –individually!

25 really? …you ask, why?

1.       Because by then, we can be certain that everything your special someone uses to surprise you would be coming from his own hard work. It’s not hard work to skip meals just so a boy can buy you gifts from allowance money and it’s a shame to receive gifts knowing that it actually came from a boy’s parents.

2.       Because it’s easier to follow your dreams when you’re on your own. Oh, forget that excuse for an inspiration. God, your biological family and your friends should be enough to see you through. Think of it this way, when you’re running after your dream to a faraway place, you wouldn’t think twice about having to leave someone behind. When you’re running after your dream while being financially challenged, you can always skip meals, sleep in, use public transportation no matter how long it takes, walk to and from home, easy. When running after your dreams without assurance of success, it’s ok, you can still run after it, fail, make as many mistakes as you can and rise up again.

3.       Because you will have the opportunity to indulge in your success after failure. You will earn enough to spend on things that make you happy. You can spend on food, clothes, gifts, travel and recreation without having to think of other people.

4.       Because it will be easier to allocate for savings and investment. Because you are alone, you can decide for yourself whether to spend your money on number 4 or save and invest. You can buy your own car, your own home, your own stocks, etc. You can choose to invest in a business that caters to what you love to do regardless of a possible failure.

5.       Because when you have lived a fulfilled life on your own, you can do away with the what ifs and the what could’ve beens. When you don’t have these loose strings anymore, your judgment for a better half would be better. Men can no longer impress you with just words and gifts. You will be swooned by a person of character, someone who has also lived a fulfilled single life.

6.       Because when both of you have lived fulfilled single lives, you will have a lot of options. You can choose to stay in the dating phase, get married, have kids, quit your job, stay at home with the family, and still have the best time of your life.

There, you wouldn’t be bothered with a “because I said so” kind of reasoning when you ask when you can have a boyfriend. I believe it’s pretty clear how you can get more out of life if you wait. What will you be missing anyway? Emails and texts asking how you are and if you’ve already eaten? Hatid-sundo na de-kotse? Movie dates, malling and eat-outs? Don’t worry, mom and dad will do that for you. Holding hands while walking, pa-sway-sway pa and the kiss that would make your foot pop? You’re not even supposed to be doing that outside of marriage and why is on another entry. See you soon!

your every woman,

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Why We Need Dads

In this day and age, we have accepted the way families can strive without dads. After all, moms can already provide for the family,do household troubleshooting, and provide guidance which is basically what dads are expected to do. However, as I was browsing through family pictures, I realized why having a dad in the family is an absolute necessity and why you should appreciate that man in your household:

1) Because children need someone to show them how dates should be.

2) Because an extra pair of thighs is necessary for a good sleep.

3) Because he's great at capturing priceless family events!

(first family bus ride)

4) Because he's great at carrying the kids... both of them!

5) Because he's great at improvising ways to take care of the children.

6) Because we need to practice applying makeup on a virgin face.

7) Because you need to know that having a mustache when you're a girl isn't so bad after all.

8) Because daughters need a faster way to dry their hair.

9) Because the kids need to look like someone other than their mom.

10) Because our dad is the best dad of all and we can't imagine life without him

Happy Father's Day to the man who is a perfect example of how all men should be. We love you so much!

youreverywoman,

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Start Right on Child Nutrition

I have a theory... that there are no picky eaters and that children who don't eat right are a result of clueless parents. Please, before giving me dagger looks on how self righteous you think my parenting is, let me explain.

I'm 30 and my hubby is about 2 years younger. We have 2 kids, a 7 year old and a 10 month old. By these numbers, you can imagine how young we had our first child and even though I did read several books about how to raise a child then, nothing beats experience.

You see, our first born is a picky eater. When she was born via CS, she was given to me for a taste of my bosom which I am confused whether it were for nourishing purposes or a photo op because it was so quick. After that, she was kept in the nursery drinking formula until I recovered. Breastfeeding failed. I tried until she got ill and I received a lot of ideas about how my daughter was allergic to my milk and was turning yellow and stuff like that that I decided to quit and do what we thought was best for her. 6 months later, when she showed signs that she wanted to eat solid food, we thought that she'd eat more if the food tasted yummy - like adult yummy. So we started with packaged cereals (I'm sure you guys are familiar with this one and probably had your taste of them too!) and juices, which she liked, but when we started to give her real food like rice and mashed vegetables, she gagged. I thought it was just because she didn't have teeth to chew the food yet so I postponed real food feeding until she was more than a year old. Since then, every feeding is a challenge, even until now. If it's not fastfood, she'd stay at the table for more than an hour thinking of a strategy on how to either trick the elders or finish her food.

7+ years later, our 2nd child was born. We were older and a lot more prepared. We've read more books and were more vocal about what we wanted. Hospital rules are different and the help of the Internet and social networking were tremendous. I gave birth to our 2nd child, still via CS, but she was with me from birth to home. Exclusive breastfeeding was successful. When she showed signs of wanting to eat solid food, the first thing that we gave her is unseasoned, steamed mashed green papaya, and she ate it! Our pedia taught us that we should've started with bitter melon which a lot of kids (and even adults) don't like, but the advice came late so 2nd child didn't like bitter melon (alone) anymore, but she eats a wide variety of vegetables. As of writing, here are the vegetables that are part of her mashed food mix:

- Carrot
- Potato
- Moringa (Malunggay)
- Chili leaves (dahon ng Sili)
- Bitter Melon leaves (dahon ng Ampalaya)
- Mustard
- Spinach
- Bell pepper
- Squash
- Tomato
- Chayote (Sayote)
- green Papaya
- Basella Alba (Alugbati)
- Ampalaya
- Corn

She eats them without any seasoning, can you imagine that? I sometimes toss in sauteed onions and garlic to excite her palate but that's it. I taste her food sometimes and the potatoes make the mix taste a bit ok for me but I wouldn't eat a whole meal of it. She eats these food mixes 3 times a day and loves them to bits!

What I have learned is that children don't have innate preferences. They take what you give them, get accustomed to the taste, and develop a preference. It is the caregivers duty to offer and develop a healthier preference. Exclusive breastfeeding is a good start because breastmilk has all the right ingredients for an infant and just enough sugar so she doesn't develop a craving for sweets.

So far, we have 2 kids whom I can tell apart. Once our 2nd child grows and we have a third kid, I may be able to prove if this theory is true, but if you have a kid who's about to eat solid food, or are having kids or are planning to have kids, please give this a try. Maybe years later, you'll be able to tell me in the comments if it were true for you. Until then...

your every woman,

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For the Love of Cloth

I originally wanted to use the traditional lampin with our eldest daughter that I even bought several muslin cloths and nappy clamps. However, being the working mom that I am, I eventually gave up the dream to go completely eco-friendly. A couple of years later, after giving birth to our youngest daughter and engaging in a breastfeeding support group, I was introduced to modern cloth diapers.  At first, I shied away from its hefty price tag but when I did the math, I realized that my first set of CDs is just equivalent to 2 ½ months’ worth of disposable diapers.

Earthbaby AI2s

 Because of this, it didn’t take too much to convince my husband into buying me another set for the rainy days.

Baby Chic AI2s

I wouldn’t dwell into reviewing cloth diapers because I am no expert and I haven’t tried everything. All I can say based on my research and my purchase is that the AI2 system is the most suitable cloth diapering system for us. It uses a waterproof outer or “shell” and a snap-on soaker that takes all the pee in. The soaker is a combination of a stay-dry top layer and several layers of absorbent natural fiber cloths. Ours uses microfleece and bamboo cotton. What I like most about this system is that it takes reusability to a whole new level! When the soaker is saturated with pee, you can just remove it and snap on a fresh one, although I prefer to use a fresh shell while air-drying the previous one for later use.  If baby poops, that’s a different story. The whole combo would have to be changed.

Now unlike disposable diapers, cloth diapers do not turn liquid to gel which meant it may not last through the night. I had problems with night leaks because I can’t get up promptly to check on my daughter’s nappy and she doesn’t really care if her nappy is saturated while she’s asleep. I was almost about to buy trifold boosters for our cloth diapers until one desperate night, I decided to add a folded muslin cloth under the soaker. Boom! Problem solved!

One time, during a nappy change, I thought to myself that it would also be a lovely idea if the cotton I use for wipes were reusable. Then it hit me, “Why not use cloth wipes?”.  I scoured the Internet for cloth wipes and I got a lot of suggestions on how to create my own. I ended up buying 2 meters of Yellow cotton flannel, cutting it into 5” diameter circles. My mother-in-law volunteered to sew two layers of the flannel together using her edging machine and the results were amazing! Matched with a bum spray recipe that I got from Earth Baby, it did a great job in cleaning my daughter’s nappy area. And when it’s laundry time for the cloth diapers, I just throw in the cloth wipes with the CDs in the washer!

I am so happy with our entirely cloth diapering system. Armed with breastfeeding, it completely eased us of all additional routine costs of having an addition to the family at least until the next vaccine schedule or until she goes to school. Wonderful isn’t it?!

your every woman,

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Cold Remedies for Infants

Serene recently had a very bad cold. Being the breastfed kid that she is, I didn’t realize that she could get sick too, so I was never too careful about being sick near her.  When it became difficult for her to nurse, we brought her to the doctor. At the hospital, aside from medicines, we were advised to buy this:

Simba tube nasal aspirator

This is the most efficient mucous suctioning tool I’ve ever experienced in my entire mommy life! In fact, I would recommend this or give as gift to friend mommies with infants. Here’s how it works:

Not only did I help my daughter blow her nose, I also got to collect the mucous in a transparent container which I can best describe to her pedia during check-ups. Amazing isn’t it? Better than the sacrificial act of actually mouth-sipping your infant’s mucous from her nose right? (Oh come on! I’m sure some of you have done or have heard someone had done it before!) Please take note that because it collects mucous, it’s a breeding ground for virus and bacteria so you have to ensure that you wash and dry it in between usage.

Aside from that tool, we also followed a routine to ensure that our baby heals in no time:

1.       When it’s time for her bath, I pour a large amount of hot water in a pail, close the bathroom and we’ll both stay inside for 15 minutes for steam. I suction all her mucous during the steaming process. After 15 minutes, I add cold water to the pail to get just enough warmth for an infant and I bathe her with it.

2.       After bathing, I massage her chest and back with GIGA Ventures’ Cold Rub. I also apply some to her feet too and cover it with socks.

3.       When she’s awake and I notice that she has difficulty breathing, I spray Salinase through each of her nostrils and suction the mucous again.

Weather nowadays is so unpredictable that I’m sure parents out there would eventually have the trouble of taking care of a child with colds. So if you ever try any of our products / procedures, or have any other products / procedures you swear by, please let us know through the comments.

Thanks!

your every woman,

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