Thursday, July 9, 2015

Why You Should Wait: Exclusive Dating

Ever since I became Christian, I gained a lot of wisdom that could have made things better for my life if I had them when I was younger. Still, I praise the Lord for giving me a wonderful life and family, though not the way I had dreamed it would be, but perfect nonetheless. 

Now that I’m a mother, I would like to pass this wisdom on to my daughters, creating entries that revolve around waiting patiently for God’s time on a practical perspective. For my first entry, let me tell you about why you should wait for the perfect time to exclusively date.

(photo taken from

First, let us talk about when is the perfect time to exclusively date? Or in the Filipino perspective, when should you have a boyfriend? By having a boyfriend I mean having plans of eventually getting married and having children. I am not going to say that you should finish College first before having a boyfriend because education is evolving and you don’t have to stick to formal education to be able to follow your dreams. To be more specific, I should say it would be sometime after you’re 25 and you can say to yourself that you and the person courting you have already fulfilled your dreams –individually!
25 really? …you ask, why?

1.       Because by then, we can be certain that everything your special someone uses to surprise you would be coming from his own hard work. It’s not hard work to skip meals just so a boy can buy you gifts from allowance money and it’s a shame to receive gifts knowing that it actually came from a boy’s parents.

2.       Because it’s easier to follow your dreams when you’re on your own. Oh, forget that excuse for an inspiration. God, your biological family and your friends should be enough to see you through. Think of it this way, when you’re running after your dream to a faraway place, you wouldn’t think twice about having to leave someone behind. When you’re running after your dream while being financially challenged, you can always skip meals, sleep in, use public transportation no matter how long it takes, walk to and from home, easy. When running after your dreams without assurance of success, it’s ok, you can still run after it, fail, make as many mistakes as you can and rise up again.

3.       Because you will have the opportunity to indulge in your success after failure. You will earn enough to spend on things that make you happy. You can spend on food, clothes, gifts, travel and recreation without having to think of other people.

4.       Because it will be easier to allocate for savings and investment. Because you are alone, you can decide for yourself whether to spend your money on number 4 or save and invest. You can buy your own car, your own home, your own stocks, etc. You can choose to invest in a business that caters to what you love to do regardless of a possible failure.

5.       Because when you have lived a fulfilled life on your own, you can do away with the what ifs and the what could’ve beens. When you don’t have these loose strings anymore, your judgment for a better half would be better. Men can no longer impress you with just words and gifts. You will be swooned by a person of character, someone who has also lived a fulfilled single life.

6.       Because when both of you have lived fulfilled single lives, you will have a lot of options. You can choose to stay in the dating phase, get married, have kids, quit your job, stay at home with the family, and still have the best time of your life.

There, you wouldn’t be bothered with a “because I said so” kind of reasoning when you ask when you can have a boyfriend. I believe it’s pretty clear how you can get more out of life if you wait. What will you be missing anyway? Emails and texts asking how you are and if you’ve already eaten? Hatid-sundo na de-kotse? Movie dates, malling and eat-outs? Don’t worry, mom and dad will do that for you. Holding hands while walking, pa-sway-sway pa and the kiss that would make your foot pop? You’re not even supposed to be doing that outside of marriage and why is on another entry. See you soon!

your every woman,


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