Thursday, July 9, 2015

Long Distance Parenting

Do you remember your child’s first smile? …first steps? …first solid food? …first fall? …first day of school? …first achievement? …first crush? …first love? …first heartache? Oh wait, were you there?

(photo taken from the Internet about an Iraqi orphanage where a little girl who never knew her mother, drew a mom on the ground and fell asleep with her...)

I know that this is a very sensitive topic because some of the most loving, well-meaning parents may still answer “No” to these questions and I can’t blame anyone. Parents make mistakes too. So let me write this post in a child’s perspective as I have experienced. Mom… Dad… you have to be there.

It was not ok for you to go somewhere far and leave us behind to earn a living. You may say that through this means, you provide for our future, but the best future we could ever have can only be created through positive parenting. You could have ensured our future by having a great relationship with us; By being there to observe our personalities and guide our development. It didn't matter if we attended a great school. It didn't matter if we had new and expensive things. Many children of parents who stayed elsewhere have led difficult personal lives even though they had money to spend. They struggle with trust. They have insecurities; I have insecurities...

It’s never going to be a better option to leave us with relatives in a faraway place instead of at home with you and probably a nanny a few hours a day. I agree that finding the perfect nanny is like finding a needle in a haystack. …That is if we can ever find the haystack at all. Still, when we live at home with you, we still get to bond with you when you go home or during weekends. We can tell the difference and it’s better that way as opposed to not knowing the difference between you and the relatives you leave us with. You have a special effect on us. Use that while you still can.

your every woman,


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