2015 ~ I Am Your Every Woman

Friday, December 18, 2015

Conceited Heart

photo grabbed from Etsy

During one of my zone out moments, an idea started in me. I thought "What if in the Philippine setting, a guard at the entrance of an establishment casually asks me 'What's your name?' and once I respond with my name, he'll say 'Oh, Bianca, may I check your bag please?' How would I feel?". Being in the customer service industry working for a 1st world country for almost 10 years, I can easily say it's perfectly fine! I ran the same idea with a couple of people and most of the reactions I received were that they would be offended by a guard asking them for their names and not even calling them "mam/sir". When I asked them if there was anything wrong with it, they realized that there wasn't and I continued to explain that we only have this perspective that something is wrong with it because we think that the guard is lesser than us when in fact, he is not. I continued on with my life thinking highly of myself because I know this simple truth when most people don't.

Recently, I realized that I am no better than anyone else. I practice the opposite of what I preach. Just because I've been blessed with work where I manage people, I felt a sense of entitlement. Just because I held myself accountable for other people's performance, I felt that I should be honored, celebrated. And as years passed by, I've held this bitterness because I never received the honor I thought I deserved... or sometimes, I measure honor based on monetary value. I have realized now that there is more to work than gaining glory for myself... that everything that I do is for the greater glory of the Lord because the work that I do is a channel of His blessing. Thankfully, the Lord blessed with a means to heal my heart and my life will never be the same.

your every woman,

Teach Your Child Values

Teach your child values instead of rules

Give them life guidelines

And not laws for fools

Your child is not yours,

Someday you’ll let go

So it’s best they have principles

That they keep as they grow

Teach your child Respect for other people

Even though some people will not earn it

It’s your child who will learn it

And it will be beneficial

When she learns to respect others

She will value their time

It will save her from tardiness

And she’ll never be left behind

Teach your child Integrity

It will help her discern

What is right when no one’s watching

There won’t be cause for concern

Integrity will teach her

To be honest and true

It will reflect in her decisions

And she’ll always pull through

Teach your child Industry

Give her tasks around the house

She’ll learn to clean, cook and wash clothes

And it’s not for her spouse

You’ll want her to be independent

As she follows her dream

You’ll be confident she’ll get by

When it’s time for her to wean

Teach your child Hardwork and Passion

And nothing great comes easy

So when faced with challenges

She will never grow weary

Tell her success is sweet

When you’ve poured out your all

Tell her never to give up

Even after a fall

Teach your child Compassion

For anyone she meets

Let her know she’s blessed

And a blessing, she can be

There are little things she can do for other people

That would give them a break

Imagine it being multiplied

And the difference it would make

Your teachings are not for the world to see

How great you are as a parent can be

Do it for your little one to ensure that she

Will be her best self when you set her free

So instead of do’s and don’t’s, let’s try

To teach them things they can apply

They’ll appreciate things they don’t learn in schools

When you teach them values instead of rules

your every woman,

Long Distance Parenting

Do you remember your child’s first smile? …first steps? …first solid food? …first fall? …first day of school? …first achievement? …first crush? …first love? …first heartache? Oh wait, were you there?

(photo taken from the Internet about an Iraqi orphanage where a little girl who never knew her mother, drew a mom on the ground and fell asleep with her...)

I know that this is a very sensitive topic because some of the most loving, well-meaning parents may still answer “No” to these questions and I can’t blame anyone. Parents make mistakes too. So let me write this post in a child’s perspective as I have experienced. Mom… Dad… you have to be there.

It was not ok for you to go somewhere far and leave us behind to earn a living. You may say that through this means, you provide for our future, but the best future we could ever have can only be created through positive parenting. You could have ensured our future by having a great relationship with us; By being there to observe our personalities and guide our development. It didn't matter if we attended a great school. It didn't matter if we had new and expensive things. Many children of parents who stayed elsewhere have led difficult personal lives even though they had money to spend. They struggle with trust. They have insecurities; I have insecurities...

It’s never going to be a better option to leave us with relatives in a faraway place instead of at home with you and probably a nanny a few hours a day. I agree that finding the perfect nanny is like finding a needle in a haystack. …That is if we can ever find the haystack at all. Still, when we live at home with you, we still get to bond with you when you go home or during weekends. We can tell the difference and it’s better that way as opposed to not knowing the difference between you and the relatives you leave us with. You have a special effect on us. Use that while you still can.

your every woman,

Why You Should Wait: Exclusive Dating

Ever since I became Christian, I gained a lot of wisdom that could have made things better for my life if I had them when I was younger. Still, I praise the Lord for giving me a wonderful life and family, though not the way I had dreamed it would be, but perfect nonetheless.

Now that I’m a mother, I would like to pass this wisdom on to my daughters, creating entries that revolve around waiting patiently for God’s time on a practical perspective. For my first entry, let me tell you about why you should wait for the perfect time to exclusively date.

(photo taken from http://archcapeinn.com/blog)

First, let us talk about when is the perfect time to exclusively date? Or in the Filipino perspective, when should you have a boyfriend? By having a boyfriend I mean having plans of eventually getting married and having children. I am not going to say that you should finish College first before having a boyfriend because education is evolving and you don’t have to stick to formal education to be able to follow your dreams. To be more specific, I should say it would be sometime after you’re 25 and you can say to yourself that you and the person courting you have already fulfilled your dreams –individually!

25 really? …you ask, why?

1.       Because by then, we can be certain that everything your special someone uses to surprise you would be coming from his own hard work. It’s not hard work to skip meals just so a boy can buy you gifts from allowance money and it’s a shame to receive gifts knowing that it actually came from a boy’s parents.

2.       Because it’s easier to follow your dreams when you’re on your own. Oh, forget that excuse for an inspiration. God, your biological family and your friends should be enough to see you through. Think of it this way, when you’re running after your dream to a faraway place, you wouldn’t think twice about having to leave someone behind. When you’re running after your dream while being financially challenged, you can always skip meals, sleep in, use public transportation no matter how long it takes, walk to and from home, easy. When running after your dreams without assurance of success, it’s ok, you can still run after it, fail, make as many mistakes as you can and rise up again.

3.       Because you will have the opportunity to indulge in your success after failure. You will earn enough to spend on things that make you happy. You can spend on food, clothes, gifts, travel and recreation without having to think of other people.

4.       Because it will be easier to allocate for savings and investment. Because you are alone, you can decide for yourself whether to spend your money on number 4 or save and invest. You can buy your own car, your own home, your own stocks, etc. You can choose to invest in a business that caters to what you love to do regardless of a possible failure.

5.       Because when you have lived a fulfilled life on your own, you can do away with the what ifs and the what could’ve beens. When you don’t have these loose strings anymore, your judgment for a better half would be better. Men can no longer impress you with just words and gifts. You will be swooned by a person of character, someone who has also lived a fulfilled single life.

6.       Because when both of you have lived fulfilled single lives, you will have a lot of options. You can choose to stay in the dating phase, get married, have kids, quit your job, stay at home with the family, and still have the best time of your life.

There, you wouldn’t be bothered with a “because I said so” kind of reasoning when you ask when you can have a boyfriend. I believe it’s pretty clear how you can get more out of life if you wait. What will you be missing anyway? Emails and texts asking how you are and if you’ve already eaten? Hatid-sundo na de-kotse? Movie dates, malling and eat-outs? Don’t worry, mom and dad will do that for you. Holding hands while walking, pa-sway-sway pa and the kiss that would make your foot pop? You’re not even supposed to be doing that outside of marriage and why is on another entry. See you soon!

your every woman,

Why We Need Dads

In this day and age, we have accepted the way families can strive without dads. After all, moms can already provide for the family,do household troubleshooting, and provide guidance which is basically what dads are expected to do. However, as I was browsing through family pictures, I realized why having a dad in the family is an absolute necessity and why you should appreciate that man in your household:

1) Because children need someone to show them how dates should be.