A Mother's Love

My mom and I never had a chance to be close. She was almost always abroad for work and my siblings and I were left with relatives. I was bitter growing up because I felt like I never received the support I was entitled to from her. I took pride in the belief that I've always managed to pull myself through difficult situations with very little to no help from her, but it only made the bitterness in my heart greater. At one difficult phase in my life, I even sent her an email questioning why she always helped my siblings more. She responded by telling me that each of us siblings is different and asked if I'd rather be in their shoes to be able to receive the kind of attention and support she was giving them. I didn't take it very well but shrugged it off because that's the kind of person I am.

Lately, I've been running out of funds and knowing that my mom "seems" to be doing well in her clothes business as well as her full-time work, I catch myself borrowing money from her every now and then. Yesterday, our FB conversation goes:

Mom: Magkano mo bibigay sa akin ang bride at mother of the bride hair and make-up. Balak kong i-offer kasama ng package para madagdagan ang pictures mo sa The Face is My Canvas.

Me: Wow. Thanks! Saan ba muna ang wedding? 1k per person ako, so kung bride and mother-of-bride, 2k un sa regular. Ikaw na bahala kung magkano bigay mo sakin.

Then I realized something about the chilli garlic I'm reselling for my brother:

Me: 30 bottles na pala oorderin kay kuya
na chilli. Narealize ko ako pala ang lugi pag madami na ang binili.
Kasi ibig sabihin, ibibigay ko cia ng (distributor price) per bottle (as opposed to my retail price), pero ako ang kukuha kay kuya ng lahat ng 30 bottles na un at ako pa magdedeliver.

Mom: Sige okay lang bawi ka na lang sa iba. 2k na babayaran ko sa iyo. May buffer naman ako sa package price.

Me: Yey! Wag mo nalang ako bayaran. Wala nalang akong utang sayo. (Roughly 1.9K)

Mom: Sige na nga.

Then I finally understood her response to my email years ago. I realized, also because of recent events, how different me and my siblings are: our personalities, our struggles, our thresholds... and that I should NEVER even think about comparing myself to them because our mom is tailor-fitting herself for us but loves each of us just as much.

I realized that the only reason I thought I didn't get the help I needed was because I was too arrogant to ask. That asking her to quit working so she could take care of my kids was a selfish act because not only will it hinder her from pursuing her personal dreams, but it will also prevent her from earning her own money that she'd use for enjoying life and supporting her loved ones.

I guess I'm having this epiphany also because it's the same way I am with my kids and I didn't realize it for the longest time. I leave Isabella to sleep on her own because Serene needs me to nurse. I leave Isabella to play on her own because Isabella and I had our time and it's Serene's turn now. I leave Isabella alone most of the time because Serene needs me more now. I help Serene proactively because she can't usually verbalize what she needs while I'm confident that Isabella can and she should if she really needs something. It's all the same with my mom and siblings, just not the same difficult situations yet but it'll get there someday.

Mi, I'd like to let you know that I understand you completely now and I appreciate you now more than ever. I'm sorry if I've said or done anything that has hurt you or offended your motherhood. I pray that God continue to bless you with good health and provision. Love you.

your every woman,

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Tamang Kain Chronicles: The Seminar

I attended a small group seminar for parents with slow weight gaining or picky eater children. It was a very informative morning! Ms. Velvet & Ms. Noelle who facilitated the seminar did it in a very personal way, asking all 7 of us parents how the feeding problems started and how it was at the moment, resulting to a more tailor-fit recommendation. 

A typical feeding session...

Here are the things I've learned.

• Food that Bulk Up
• Avocado
• Camote
• Plantain (saging na saba)
• Buco Meat
• Beans & Lentils
• Nuts
• Unheated Vegetable Oils (Olive oil, VCO, etc)
• Sugar destroys the mouth sensors, causing kids to prefer sweets over nutritious food such as vegetables.
• Formula contains a lot of sugar so it doesn't help if you'd like your child to eat healthy. Breastmilk is still best for babies and fresh milk for older kids.
• Pediasure was intended for the clinical treatment of severe acute malnutrition and shouldn't be given to healthy, normal kids. It replaces a whole meal making the child feel full as a result.
• According to Ms. Velvet, Food is discipline. Power struggle in food is just the start of the many possible power struggles you'll encounter with your child as they grow. If you can discipline your children with food, you can also discipline them in other areas.
• For older kids, you can encourage them to eat nutritious food by involving them in the process of making the food, from growing the vegetables, to preparing them in the kitchen.
• For younger kids who throw tantrums at feeding time, calm down and show no emotion. Have them sit in Indian position while crying until they're done with it. Then offer food again.
• Did you know that there are healthy alternatives to our usual seasoning? From the seminar, I learned that you can replace soy sauce with Bragg's Liquid Aminos and table salt with Himalayan salt.
• One creative way to kickstart your child's journey to nutrition is to display a food rainbow. Your kid should be able to eat at least 1 healthy food as the colors of the rainbow a week. If they complete the rainbow you can give them a prize. She recommended non-material prizes but more of fun learning experiences.
• Another great way to keep your little ones interested with nutritious food is to use a dinner puzzle/maze. The Dinner Winner shown below is just a fancy tray used for this purpose but you can create your own. Set a rule with your kids that they can't say no to food unless they've already tried it. With a wonderful tool like this, you can encourage your child to finish the whole maze by offering them prizes similar to the food rainbow.

It's great that I haven't done my grocery shopping prior to the seminar because I got to overhaul our pantry very easily. Tomorrow is day 1. 

your every woman,

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The Day I Thought I'd Lose Serene

While at soccer camp yesterday, it was obvious that Ella didn't have enough energy. Apparently, she only ate cereals and milk the whole day prior to camp which ran from 4:30-6:30pm. When the class was over, I brought them to KFC, found them a table, left them there, and lined up to buy them food. When I brought the food to where they were, I was shocked because Serene was not there!

A lot of things didn't turn out the way I expected them yesterday. I've prepared all the things Ella and Sereney would need for Ella's soccer camp and was very confident about it when I left for work. A few hours before the end of my shift, I was receiving messages from Ella & Drew at home asking where things were. I was a bit irritated because I gave them instructions to bring whatever I prepared and everything else was with me. When I met up with them, I found out that they left Serene's director's chair and brought an unnecessary extra bag with unnecessary contents. If you know me, you'd know I'd get mad about it, but I didn't. I was irritated, but not mad (Thank God for that!).

Sereney announced that she pooped before we left the mall beside my workplace so I had to clean her up, causing us to be a little behind schedule that we had to rush going to The Turf. Serene's sippy cup that I filled with water before leaving work spilled all over my bag for some reason. 

Before going to KFC, Ella drank water from her bottle and wasn't able to properly close it, spilling more water in my bag.

So, you can just imagine how I felt when I found out that Serene was not where I left them and Ella had no idea where she was! 

The first place I went to was the grocery which was right across KFC. She was not there! There was nothing to the right of KFC and the grocery, so I went left where there's an EGG (Exciting Gifts & Goodies) booth and right again towards McDonald's where a lot of Kiddie Crews were but Serene was still nowhere to be found! Those were the longest 5-10 minutes of my life!

While I was frantically calling out Serene's name, I was already on the verge of crying. I found a guard and began describing her out loud. Thankfully, the saleslady from EGG heard how I described her and knew that it was her inside National Bookstore. National Bookstore! Why didn't I think of it sooner?! That was the same place she'd go straight to whenever we go to that mall because she loved tinkering at the children's books there! Maybe I was too exhausted and worried that I wasn't thinking clearly. Good thing the children's books section was just right behind the store's glass wall so it was easy for the lady to see her as their store was in front of it.

I was just so grateful for I knew that the Lord was teaching me a lesson. He allowed just enough to make me realize that I CANNOT always be in control but trust that He'd always watch over my kids, my life, my situation. I stopped being pissed about what happened that night and went on to enjoy dinner with my precious kids. 

your every woman,

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Blessed with Isabella

I would like to dedicate this post as a shouts-out to my eldest daughter, Isabella who is the most responsible, understanding ATE in the world.

Our most recent household help unexpectedly left us AGAIN! Well, we're no longer surprised that our household help never came back after her 2-week-long holiday vacation because that's how it is with our helps. It's like most relationships built on nothing - You suddenly realize that it's over and you keep asking yourself if there's anything about you, or anything you did wrong, but at the end of it all, they're just not that into you (errr, your household.). Moooving on...

So we're living away from our parents where it's near Isabella's school and without a help, we cannot depend on anyone else to stay in our house to care for our kids while we're working. It so happened that we just recently moved to a new workplace where we do not have the liberty of choosing schedules. Because of this, there would be at least an hour when the 2 girls would have to be left at home without an adult! Risky, I know, but there was nothing else we could do, so we talked to Isabella about our yaya-less routine plan and she was cool with it. In fact, when I woke up without an alarm and it was time for me to leave, I have heard Isabella rolling on her bed which indicates she was awake. She had expected her time of responsibility and all I had to do was whisper in her hear and she stood up, took her pillows and layed beside her sister! She even had the consciousness to take instructions like where the milk was and all that!

God is really true in His words. Some day, I know that He will give us the perfect setup where we won't have to choose between our means of living and our family, but until then, He blessed us with the Isabella so when times like these comes, we wouldn't have to worry that we won't have household help for the next couple of days... maybe weeks... or months... Thank you, Lord, for daughters like Isabella and thank you Isabella for honoring God and your parents by being the best ATE in the world.

your every woman,

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Cheap But Excellent Getaway at the La Mesa Eco Park!

Are you looking for a nice pre-back-to-school gimmick with your family? Why not try the La Mesa Eco Park at Quezon City. We have been there a few months back and it was really worth a visit or two if you're looking for a getaway in the city. Not only are you amusing yourselves with a piece of nature, but you are also contributing to the welfare of the La Mesa Watershed!

Posing at the Shell Flower Terraces

The entrance path to La Mesa Eco Park

Resting under the shade of a tree a good picnic

Ella, enjoying a close encounter at the butterfly sanctuary

There are other things to do aside from site seeing like fishing, boating, horse back riding and swimming! Unfortunately, we weren't able to maximize our trip because we were just invited by hubby's parents right after a good night's work. Haha! But Ella had a good time so everything was all worth it!

Visit the website of La Mesa Eco Park for more details and schedule a trip for a cause today!

your every woman,

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Some Parenting Hand Me Downs...Busted!

Sure we learned a LOT from the people who raised us. We're just so fortunate that we have the more advanced studies now than what they had before. Here are some beliefs I heard from my folks when I was a kid:

1. SWEAT THE FEVER OUT. While sweating is our bodies way of releasing heat from fever, our body will do it on it's own especially if we already drank fever meds. So there's no need to be wrapped in blankies unless child is feeling cold. However, take care not to soak child in sweat inside those cloth layers or you might run the risk for pneumonia!

2. LET WOUNDS AIR DRY FOR FASTER HEALING. Dry wounds might look like it's healed, but only on the outside. And even though it's okay, it's not advisable if you want to grow a little miss Philippines out of your daughter.Recent studies prove that scar tissue is more likely to develop under the scab of dry wounds. So if it's a big wound, you might want to smother it with balm or ointment after cleansing and dress it with bandage to prevent scab from forming.

3. WE'LL TAKE CARE OF TEETH WHEN IT'S PERMANENT. Right? Wrong! It's crucial to keep milk teeth in place for as long as they need to because they'd serve as framework for when the permanent teeth comes out. This will prevent uneccessary (...and not to mention, expensive!) orthodontic procedures in the future. Always clean baby's teeth with a soft toothbrush or clean cloth with a pea-sized amount of age appropriate toothpaste at least twice a day.

4. LET BABIES BURN THEMSELVES OUT SO THEY'D SLEEP LONGER AND BETTER. Ha! I am also a victim of this one! It seemed to make so much sense because it applies to us adults right? However, I researched that regarding baby sleep, being well rested in the morning equates to quality sleep at night! Tired babies only get cranky and restless which makes it more difficult to calm them down. By the time they've slept because of fatigue, they're system have not adjusted to the calm state yet resulting to a shallow sleep experience. My daughter has 2 naps squeezed on her daily routine which may stretch from 1-3 hours and she sleeps a whole 10-12 hours at night!

5. TRIMMING THE ENDS OF BABY's EYELASHES WOULD RESULT TO LONGER THICKER LASHES. I don't have an accurate say about this because even though researchers scientifically reject the idea, I encounter more real-life testimonies to it's accuracy. I even did it on Ella and my brother did it on his daughter and they get compliments everywhere for their lashes (...as obviously compared to mine!). I can't imagine not doing it just to find out if Ella had them naturally. But according to dermatologists, lashes grow based on one's genetic make-up. So if you cut it, it will just grow back to how long and thick it should've originally been. Well, come to think of it...I could use that study to defend the nature of my daughter's gorgeous eyelashes!

6. MANSANILLA A DAY KEEPS THE GAS PAINS AWAY. The only truth about this age-old remedy is that, like any other oil or liniment, the chamomile-citronella (more commonly known as mansanilla) oil's effect on gas pains is caused by it's ability to retain heat. Added by the nature of chamomile extract that calms the mind, this should still give relief to some extent. We have to be careful in applying them on sensitive skin though. Still, taking the effort to burp baby after meals really does the trick.

7. SEXY LADY WORE BIGKIS DURING INFANCY. Did this idea come from the same people who created the waist trimmer? Hehehe! Anyway, I'm sure we all can see why this is not true. Another myth about this is that it should also prevent gas pains. Our pedia actually rejected this idea because this might do more harm than good. If the cloth is too tight, it might impede baby's internal organs to function properly.

8. MOIST COTTON ON FOREHEAD STOPS THE HICCUPS. I wanted to give this the benefit of the doubt by thinking that it might be the sudden change baby feels when this is applied. But then again looking at how hiccups come about:

"Hiccups are bursts of inspiratory (breathing in) activity. The muscles we use when we take in a breath are the intercostal muscles situated between the ribs, and the diaphragm - a sheet of muscle below the lungs. " -www.medicalnewstoday.com

...nah! I might give in to the "surprise myth" over this one.

How about you...have you ever found out something from your parents you didn't think was useful? Share them here!(note: this is a repost from my sunmom blog)

your every woman,

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Cute Little Girl's Jewelry!

Liz, my mother, has something in store for everyone at Isabella's Box. And now, to add to her collection of wonderful gems comes her cute Little Girl's Jewelry line! I'm excited because now we can get to share the joy of showing off our cute little girls with trinkets made especially for them! Her inspiration came from my niece and my daughter whom she gave such gifts to. Oooh! The privilege of having a jeweler in the family...

Ella wearing the brown Swarovski bracelet she got for her birthday.

...Notice that I have a matching bracelet too!

Ella wearing the corales bracelet she got for Christmas.

Love 'em? Have yours customized now!


your every woman,

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Offspring Intelligence...Nature or Nurture?

I have been raised to believe that I was born with intelligent genes. Even so, my grandmother still continued in me, my siblings and cousins, what she had done for her kids whilst growing up --making the home the first school. I never knew how early she started it. One thing I'll never forget her account of me being able to write my complete name by age 3 (think: Bianca Helen Del Rosario).

Now while some people in my family tree did grow up as achievers...Still, some didn't really make it to the honor rolls, despite being trained the same way as everyone else. I'm not talking about honor rolls literally. I believe that this list as well as test scores don't really mean more than just an assessment of what one has kept in memory. My idea of intelligence is having what it takes to live through life successfully. A person blessed with genius DNA can flunk without good guidance. In the same way that a person who didn't have good genes can progress through the support of family and teachers. 

With this in mind, I am still in constant efforts to provide a good learning environment for Ella. I can say that she has fairly intelligent parents (Ehem! Ehem!). But, she still needs all the help she can get. So, I buy her toys, read to her and engage in proactive play with her when I can. But sometimes, I feel guilty whenever I'm not around during learning opportunities because, my being a working mom means I'd have to leave her to a nanny (Why not relatives[?] will be a different blog...). As a resolution, I decided to enroll her to a playschool! It's not like parents should enroll kids in some school at an early age...It's just that I don't have enough time and energy to come up with novel ideas to feed her growing hunger for knowledge. However, I haven't found a good school yet. Ella seemed to be a bit advanced compared to the kids at one Gymboree class we got to try.

Now let me share what my Ella has learned without school over the past few months...

1.Can do the close-open routine by 4 months

2.Can say mama and papa with meaning by 5 months

3.Can brush her teeth using The Angel Brush by 7 months

4.Changed mama and papa to mommy and daddy by 8 months

5.Walk by 10 months

6.Dance by 11 months

7.Recognize names of people and her favorite toys by 12

months. You can ask her to "love" (hug) each of them and she'll know who to pick! I remember when she was climbing my chair on day, I told her "Ella, don't climb. Are you a monkey?". She left and got back to me with her monkey stuffed toy.

8.Follow basic instructions such as getting something by 13 months.

9.Has an extensive vocabulary by 14 months:

-"mimi" for cat

-"bo" for ball

-"bu" for bird

-"babi" for bubbles

-"babu" for pig

-"bibi" for kids and babies

-"do" for dog

-"nono" for lolo / "nana" for lola

-"toto" for her favorite stuffed toy, Cow-cow

-"didi" for her kid friend, Jinjin

-"ona" for her nanny, Lorna

-"chu" for shoes

-"namnam" for food, "nami" for delicious

-"jijo" for Jesus. She recognizes Jesus in almost all His images...pictures, the cross, sculptures, etc.

10.Continuosly updating sounds and letters and lots of additional words on her vocabulary.

11.Can name parts of her body, name every family member and say "please" by 16 months.

Considering how much she knows at this age, I feel it's negligence on my part to not nurture her God given intellectual capacity. I don't want her to look back when she grows up regretting not being able to meet something just because she didn't have what it takes.

Does anyone have suggestions for a good learning environment?

your every woman,

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Sleep Training Our Babies

My daughter is now 16 months old and I have seen the benefits of giving her as much sleep as she needs. Now I am editing and posting an entry from my previous sunmom blog to reiterate the importance of sleep in babies:

I've known of a lot of babies, even before I became a mother, who have exhausted their parents and caregivers with lack of sleep. Of course, we all love our little bundles of joy! But this lack of sleep not only lessens our energy but also IMPEDES LEARNING on our children!Babies need sleep because this is the time they process everything they learn during their awake time. If they miss sleep, precious information could just slip away. (source: The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley)

Another incorrect idea was to keep the baby active, almost to the point of exhaustion, so that come night time, baby would just sleep away 'til morning! I've learned this through reading and have proven it on my own daughter --that babies need to be well rested in the morning to be able to get a good night's sleep! And to achieve that, we must maintain naptimes in the morning as well as a very stable nap and bed time routine. Actually, I have mixed that style with another parenting secret I've learned back in college Psychology...I make my daughter's whole day routinary! Here goes her day:

6:00 wake-up time / breakfast

7:00-8:00 morning outdoor play

8:00-9:30 play alone / tv time

9:30-10:00 toothbrush and bath time

10:00-11:00 or 12:00 morning nap time

12:00-1:00 lunch

1:00-3:00 free time/play time

3:00-4:00 or 5:00 afternoon nap time

5:00-6:00 afternoon outdoor play

6:00-6:30 dinner

6:30-7:30 evening quiet time

7:30-8:00 toothbrush and clean up time before sleeping

This is practically the same schedule she started with when she was just 3 months old. We can add variety to this schedule on some days like when were sleeping over at her grandparents' house, but the key is CONSISTENCY. Babies like to know what to expect. This would change as they grow older, so we'd like to take advantage of the time they still stick to our daily plans.

There was a time when I and Drew got too tired at work and get home very lazy that we just played with Ella for a few minutes, slept and left her with the nanny. She developed separation anxiety and would cry 3/4 of the day! Because of this, she resisted sleep especially when we're awake. She became too restless to sleep the entire night and the next day will just be all tantrums, tantrums, tantrums! We resolved to balance my family and work life to keep up with Ella's needs and now we're back on track!How about other mommies? What do you do to give your little ones enough sleep?

your every woman,

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